Malcolm and Duchess. More than just pets. They are my family, my confidantes, my comfort, my loves, my heart. Never have I found in a human being what I have found in the animals in my life. They don't judge. They love. And love and love. Malcolm and Duchess are the first and only pets that I have had, until recently, since I made the big girl move out of my parent's home. Tomorrow morning, I will say my final goodbye to my beloved first big girl pet, the best boyfriend I ever had, my loving kitty Malkie.
I had been living with Ali ( my ex-husband) for a year when I decided I wanted a pet. I was lonely on the nights he went to school, and had always had pets growing up. His friend Jordan had a fluffy cat to give away, and soon Malcolm found his way into our apartment. He would sit in the bedroom window with full view of the corridor, and when he saw us coming, would jump down and be waiting at the door. One night we accidentally left the patio door open and he slipped out. We spent two hours looking for him, knocking on neighbors doors, until I heard his feeble meow from inside a bush. Freedom did not suit him.
Years passed and we moved in with Ali's dad for awhile to save money to buy a place of our own. It was a constant battle to keep him from using Ali's father's expensive, imported chairs as his new and improved scratch post.
My favorite memories of him are when we moved into our condo. Our home was ours and our cat and dog could do whatever they wanted. There was no furniture to stay off of, no windows to stay out of so the apartment manager wouldn't charge us for the pet deposit. Here my ferocious feline (not really, he hides when strangers come over) had full reign on his kingdom. He could often be found sunning himself on the deck, attacking the dog just because she was breathing, but my favorite thing was when he would sit on the stairs and look down at the living room, surveying his kingdom like Mufasa. He loved laying with Ali. When Ali was downstairs, Malcolm would follow him around until he would lie on the couch, patiently waiting until he could lay in the nook of his arm. Always on the left side. We always said that Malcolm was half dog. He would come running when you called him and he was always up for a cuddle.
Five years ago, my kitty was diagnosed with kidney failure. We had to give him an IV to help cleanse his system. A few weeks ago, I came home, and my kitty didn't meet me at the door, demanding food like he always did. Soon he stopped eating properly, his IV"s not doing the job anymore. Now my Mufasa can barely hold his head up to drink water. My heart is breaking and my tears are flowing for there is no longer anything I can do except to give him some dignity, say good-bye and hope he understands how much he was loved and how I will continue to celebrate him. Tonight we will cuddle for the last time and tomorrow he will go to the place where amazing cats go to shed his love elsewhere, to bring light and love because it's what he does so well.
My handsome boy, I love you and am so grateful for the mornings you awoke me with your cold nose or when I could feel you sitting on the pillow next to me staring at me, willing me to wake up. For the times you made me laugh, your soft kisses on my nose, your gentle paw on my face. The nook of my arm will always be yours, on the left side, near my heart.
I will miss you...until we can cuddle again.
With eternal love,
mama
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