Aloha

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."-Saint Augustine

I have been fortunate over the past two years to have traveled more than I ever have before. As my life focus began to shift, I was overwhelmed with a need to see the places I had only said I wanted to visit. Now I have created a monster that becomes restless if not boarding a plane every few months.

My maiden voyage on this journey would be Hawaii. I had been to Hawaii before, but this time was vastly different. Indiscretion number two by the husband had come to light and I felt that I needed to get away. One of my favorite bands was playing in Hawaii during spring break, so I thought that would be perfect. I could get away for awhile and listen to music I love in such a beautiful place. What could be more amazing? Let me warn you. Traveling to Hawaii alone, in the middle of a break up with a newly married couple consummating their blissful marriage all night long in the room next to yours may not be the best therapy. I suggest renting Forgetting Sarah Marshall if there are any lingering questions.

Despite my emotional state, it is impossible not to get swept up in the beauty and love of the mystical islands and people of Hawaii. Often when we mainlanders hear the word aloha, we think hello or goodbye, and that is true. However the greater meaning of the word Aloha is love. The people of Hawaii embrace this like no other community that I have witnessed. Even though my heart was damaged and I was lost, The aloha of the sun rising over Diamond Head in Oahu, or the picturesque sunset in Maui reminded me that while one journey was perhaps ending, the possibilities were only beginning. It would take me some time to embrace this idea fully, but this was the beginning.



So now as I reflect on my beginning journey, I see that my trip was in fact the start of waving good-bye to the past and understanding that sometimes the roots that we think are firmly planted may decide that our growth needs to go in a different direction than what was intended. And we can still thrive and live no matter how absurd the path may seem.

Mahalo Hawaii and always Aloha!

Darlene

Reflection

Driving home from my parents' house last night, I was overwhelmed with feelings of love and gratitude. I have this underlying feeling that my family is worried that I may have a meltdown, and I can't blame them. A year ago, things were quite different. I was still married last year and in the middle of a painful separation with all the makings of a dramatic masterpiece. Adultery, lies, humiliation. Sometimes I wonder how that person survived. Well I did. It was a different version of me that got me where I am today. I am happy to report that I think the now me is great!

But, even so, this is my first Christmas in over 12 years without him. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss him occasionally. Especially as I decorated my Christmas tree, an event that we shared in joyfully together for so many years.

So this year, I made it a point that I would carry on this tradition because it made me happy in the past. I went and picked out my Christmas tree, loaded it on my car and proceeded to try and put it in the stand. This was the part I had been dreading. How was I going to get this tree to stand by myself? My tree was awesome. I have creatively named him Douglas (as in fir). I placed him in the stand and he stood there, perfectly still, perfectly straight, letting me know that anything is possible if there is hope and love. We went inside after that, and I proceeded to dress him in all the trimmings that once belonged to a couple, but I had now claimed as my own. So as the Three Tenors sang Christmas classics in the background, I placed my Angel atop Douglas and plugged in the lights. Success! My own personal ray of light shining in my living room. I am grateful that he reminds me of my own light inside, and that I can choose to let it shine whenever I want. So that is what I choose now. To send my light to my loving family, my wonderful friends and even to the man who I loved dearly, who is no longer an intrinsic part of my life. For if not for the experience, I wouldn't be the I that I am now. Fortunate indeed. Merry Christmas!



May all your days be bright...

Love D <3