Red Rocks

I love October.  The change of season fills the air.  Orange and yellow hues in the foliage brighten gloomy skies. The slight chill in the air makes me want to light a fire and drink hot chocolate out of a huge mug, getting whipped cream on my nose.  Mostly it is about the change and wow have things been changing!

I have been really busy lately, and it is great.  I went back to school and am loving the learning.  I am back working both my jobs at full throttle, and of course making time for loving friends and family.  Today, I have decided to do much of nothing, but reflect on life.  Neglecting this blog has been a problem.

A day of significance came and passed, but I would be remiss in not acknowledging it.  September and October have always been big for change in my life.  September 20th marked one year since my divorce has been final, and brings me to my last stop on my healing by traveling.  I did not want to be at my home when my divorce was final last year so a mini trip was in order.  Since I am always provided for, the perfect opportunity came about.

Super friend Susie and I had gone to see the Dave Matthews Band and Jason Mraz in Fresno in August of 2009.  We had so much fun that we were looking where we could go next.  Turns out, Jason was playing in Colorado at the Red Rocks Amphitheater.  Well look at that, another bucket list item. Seen a show at Red Rocks?:  Check!  Off we go to Colorado.

I had always wanted to visit Colorado and I wasn't disappointed.  It was absolutely beautiful!  The weather was mild with big, fluffy white clouds everywhere against turquoise blue skies.  The amphitheater was awesome.  Words wouldn't do those majestic Red Rocks justice.  And then there is Jason.  He is a great source of inspiration in spirituality and love.  The whole experience was magical.

The next day, after the concert, Susie left early to visit her boyfriend in Arizona.  I took her to the airport and dropped her off.  My flight didn't leave until later that evening.  I went back to Red Rocks park and wrote a bit and just relished in all the beauty.  So I was officially divorced. The marriage, on paper was over.  How did I feel about that?  I was sad of course, but content.  The nightmare I had been living was done.  I had all sorts of possibilities open for me if I would just be open.  It would take me another year to achieve that.

It would have been our ten year anniversary next Friday.  I am a person who holds on to sentimental attachments, whether in objects or dates.  I came to the realization that I was still blocking myself to my possibilities.  So, I decided to sell my wedding ring and some other jewelry he had given me over the years.  These no longer served me, so might as well not have them in my home.  Letting go of attachments, while difficult, gave me a sense of freedom.  Also, my car started to slowly fall apart.  My ex-husband had helped me buy that car, and while I loved her, it was also time to move on with that, so I bought myself a new car.  Change, change change, just like the leaves and the season.

Jason Mraz played in Santa Barbara this past Friday, so I made the trek up to see him.  He was there for me giving love in his music and sharing his energy a year ago and now again.  As I get present to the music, I smiled thinking about the soulful brown eyes of another amazing soul arriving in my life.  I am open, for real this time, to all possibilities.  I wait patiently for what will arrive next.  This is what my life looks like and I give it five out of five stars.

I am grateful to all of my friends and family who have been there with smiles, words of support, shoulders to cry on and positive energy to share.  I am grateful for all the pain and love I have experienced for it has made me who I am today.

And now for some more miracles...I can't wait! :)