If I fell...

I did fall.

People who have known me for awhile will understand that this in itself is not shocking or surprising. I am not the picture of grace. Sometimes, I am downright clumsy. In fact, I had recently commented to several people that I was probably due for a good and proper fall, seeing as I hadn't experienced one in awhile.

And so I fell.

I wasn't hurt. In fact as falls go, it was a good clean one. No blood, no rips, no broken bones. A simple, no frills fall.

So what is the big deal then? Other than a bit of soreness in my left arm and wrist, it is like it never happened. Soon that will go away, and then what evidence remains?

I was in Malibu, at Zuma beach with one of my super friends. We had a spectacular day in conversation, delicious food and overall good friendship. As we often do when we go to Malibu, we chose to end our day sitting on the beach, watching the waves at sunset and the tourists actually in the water, while we sit bundled in our winter coats and scarves in the 55 degree weather. We made up our own seagull reality show stories as they flew around the beach. One pair of them were in a serious lover's quarrel. Night fell, and while I never feel unsafe on this beach, the cold began to get the better of us. So we packed up our blanket and walked back to the car. There was very little light this evening. Only those from the restaurant down the road and from the dimly lit public restrooms on the beach. The moon was a crescent and was barely showing through the storm clouds that were beginning to dribble a slight drizzle. I took a step upward from the sand up to the pavement of the street where the car was parked on the street shoulder. As I did, I felt the tip of my shoe hit the edge of the pavement. I had stepped to low, miscalculating. My body had already committed to going forward. There was nothing to be done now. I was going to fall. My other foot, still on the sand wasn't stable enough to pull back my committed body, so my mind quickly went over my options. I stretched my hands out in front of me feeling them slide against the sand and gravel. Then I felt my knees slide against the pavement, my jeans feeling thinner as I slid. Great. Probably a hole in my favorite jeans! As I came to a stop, I was overcome with the urge to laugh! And so I did. I rolled onto my back and laughed and laughed. My super friend was near me of course asking if I was okay. I guess my head had come very close to the back bumper of my car, and she thought I had hit my head. All I could do was laugh.

I haven't felt this present in a moment for a long time.

I always try to live in the present moment. It is an ongoing challenge, to reel the mind away from its' constant array of thoughts in the past and future. But something I consciously try every day. Because, what really exists other than the present moment. And even then, would it exist at all without me experiencing it?

I was overwhelmed in that moment, how clearly I witnessed my mind and body work together in a split second to keep me safe. It was as if I was almost outside of myself, watching it happen. Then my spirit got involved by laughing at my luck. I didn't even scrape my hands and my jeans survived, completely intact.

What would life be like if we could all surrender and trust our minds, bodies and spirits working together to keep us safe? To guide us in our choices while we are fully present in the moment.

I hope I fall some more.